THE COUNTERFEIT SPOUSE

Counterfeit – to imitate something authentic, with the intent to replace the original or otherwise to deceive individuals into believing that the fake is of equal or greater value than the real thing.

The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. When you encounter the counterfeit, you, something in you or something in your life will either be stolen, be destroyed or be killed. Our relationships can either be orchestrated by a familiar spirit or by the Holy Spirit and which spirit connected two people in a relationship can be discerned by the fruits that are eventually produced in that relationship. Familiar spirits are demonic spirits, whose function in the kingdom of darkness is to monitor bloodlines and make sure that whatever “history” or negative patterns which occur in a family keeps reoccurring with each generation. They can do this either by :

> projecting a demonic dream to you showing you a counterfeit, so that you think they are your spouse

> use a false prophet or a prophet whose heart is not right to give you a false confirmation prophecy that a counterfeit is the “one”

> or by using mind manipulation and control and orchestrating the counterfeit and you to just “bump” into each other, so that a demonically arranged relationship can be formed.

God ordained marriages are very potent in enabling us to fulfil our purpose and impact the destinies of others at large. Knowing this, the devil will always make sure he sends a counterfeit that will intercept and upstage our God ordained spouse. The counterfeit will be used by demons to put up an excellent front that will be so credible, that so many people ended up marrying the counterfeit believing they were the “one”.

Counterfeits will always come to distract you from something. The initial presence of the counterfeit will be a threshold for a lack of fruitfulness in your life and there will be regression in areas that were thriving. Counterfeits will strengthen generational curses with you, instead of breaking them. They will assist you in re-enacting all the predominant sins that run in your family. Counterfeits will NEVER commit to you and if they marry you it is pseudo commitment, where they are married , but in their actions remain treacherous philanderers. Counterfeits come to cause delay in our lives, especially marital delay. The things of God follow a systematic course, to get something from God you must first make room for it. Consequently, the devil knows if a counterfeit is purposelessly filling the vacancy of your future spouse, the real God sent spouse will never come. I have seen some men and women being used by demons and stringing people along sometimes for 5 years plus knowing very well they did not love them and neither were they ever going to marry them. If the people would try to leave the relationship, they would even try to convince them to stay. However sometimes God will cause demons to receive confusion. If a person who has been putting a front drops the ball and brazenly tell you, they don’t care about you either in speech or in action. You better thank God for his mercy and move on with your life. We have heard the saying “rejection is sometimes God’s protection” too many times, that it now sounds platitude, but I have seen enough to fully understand how unerring it is. I have seen people being deceived by insidious men and women all the way into marriage, then the Jezebel demon only reared its head only after the first child or when all of them had been born. Listen, rejection is indeed God’s protection.

“It’s a good thing that certain people don’t always accept you. It’s a good thing that you don’t always fit in with certain people. Sometimes we desire people, because we don’t know what God knows about them”.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH A COUNTERFEIT

Rollercoaster !!! That’s the word I can best describe relationships with counterfeits. I was minding my business at 20 years old, when I had a dream. In this dream, I was dating a guy I had previously gone to the same high school with for only 2 years. During the two years, even though this guy was in the same school year and class as me, I had never spoken to him and had never been compelled by him romantically. At the time I was only at the school during ages 13-15, before moving to another school. The dream was very vague and that is the thing about dreams that are projected from the devil as “confirmation”. I have heard people saying they had a dream of their spouse but they did not see the person’s face and then they held on to that dream. God is not the author of confusion, please just cancel the dream, if it is God there will be clearer confirmation. I woke up and just could not shake the dream. Eventually in the evening I went on Facebook and searched the guy’s name and surprisingly he was one of my friends, he just barely posted. My intention was just to have small talk, ask him how he was doing and leave it at that. I never even told him the dream, but curiosity killed the cat, this was the beginning of a few years grotesque rollercoaster.

Soul ties can also be formed through poignant, deep conversations. People with Jezebel spirits normally have a victim complex, so they love to tell people about their misfortunes and struggles especially just after meeting them. Discretion is out of the window with them, because they are desperate for a leeway to later use, so that nobody can hold them accountable. If you are a person with the gift of mercy, you will be reeled in and fastened in, because your heart will open to them and you will feel like you have a deep connection and you have known them for a long time, because normally you share deep things with people you trust and have connected with on a deeper level. You don’t know that your soul has just been tied to their soul, so now no matter how toxic they are you feel obligated to stay with them and burdened to help them. That was me back then, when you have a gift that is not submitted to God, the devil can misuse it.

Red flags were substantial in the relationship, so much machiavellianism, so much misogyny, the list is innumerable. But amid all this, God is a good, good father, he sent me a very crystal clear dream to warn me about this man one day. I still remember it very well even today and we can see the contrast of demonic versus godly “confirmation” dreams from this. One is normally equivocally unclear, the other one direct and conspicuously in 3D. However, at the time I did not ascribe dreams to anything special, I treated them airily. I would not wake up and try to assimilate my dreams, I would just wake up and go about my day. Eventually the devil sent me another false confirmation dream, with a man whose face I didn’t see, but with the same physique as that guy to counteract the one from God. Another ruse to deepen the roots of deception and to bind me even further. When you see a person with no face in a dream, there are so many people in this world that can fit that physique. I reiterate and adjure you to just cancel dreams of this nature and not use them to calibrate the possibility of anyone being the “one”.

Two dreams opposing one though. I never saw this as a conundrum or did I start being cynical. I kept my ardour 100% believing that this demonic soul tie was instead a soul mate. Not a smidge of quandary, nothing would dissuade me from holding on. The devil was probably chuckling in a corner. The counterfeit deep down has the anatomy of a wolf but maintains the semblance of an upright man so well, you will be utterly sold. The fraudulent imitation is almost flawless if you are spiritually blind.

The narcissist will always end up doing the “unforeseen”, because if you give someone an inch, they will take a mile. The Jezebel spirit will test your boundaries and if you do not quell its unruly madness, it will one day unleash its wickedness on you full force. Exactly what panned out in the end.

“The counterfeit comes to try and strip you of your anointing”.

ISHMAEL OR ISAAC?

SIGNS YOU ARE DEALING WITH AN IMPOSTER

There will ALWAYS be red flags, but a lot of us will not be able to see them, because we will not be in right standing with God. The spirit of a man enables him to have intuition, communion with God and a conscience. When your spirit is not connected to God, your intuition will be seared, because you must have a relationship with God to know God’s voice and have the right spirit leading your life to discern that it is God that is warning you. A lot of people always remember after the final demise of a toxic relationship that God did warm them, but they did not have an intimate relationship with him, which would enable them to know the channels God can use to speak to us and neither did they have godly wisdom to interpret the dreams. A lot of people are hoaxed by the counterfeit, because they do not know who they are or what they are even looking for. The antidote to circumventing counterfeits is writing a list of what you are looking for. I am an advocate of writing a list of what you are looking for, so that when any person comes into your life you measure them up to that list with TIME. The counterfeit will talk the talk but will lack the character and substance to back up their pretence in the long run.

“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty” – (Proverbs 27:13)

• A WICKED HEART

You will always know a counterfeit by the condition of their heart. The bible says in Jeremiah 17:9, the heart of man is desperately wicked. There is nowhere in that verse where demons are also mentioned, it talks about the inherent nature of man’s heart. Man on his own doing can be very evil, especially if he does not submit his heart to God or prioritises his will and desires above all. Nobody gets a spirit that they already do not have the capacity to carry, for example, you cannot get a spirit of lust, if you already do not have it in your heart. Demons only increase the propensity of man’s evil, but it all starts with the condition of man’s heart. Counterfeits are always very selfish and way too self-seeking. They will be entitled that you feed their egos, needs and demands whilst expecting you to deny and neglect yourself and only find satisfaction in the breadcrumbs they effortlessly drop at you.

Once you understand the power of choice that we all have as individuals, you will stop making excuses for people. Some people might not understand how much they are being used by the devil and think their actions will not have consequences, but people treat you a certain way, because they CHOOSE to. When people are possessed their eyes are spiritually blind, but their human perception works. There is no love in abuse and if a man is abusing you it’s not “spiritual warfare”. The counterfeit is always desperately wicked. Please do not get into a relationship or marriage with anyone who is delusional and in denial about the condition of their heart and has not yet decided to submit it to God’s perusal. After experiencing the narcissist, you gain a fresh unplumbed understanding. Looks, accolades, eloquence, you name it, absolutely NOTHING can make up for an ugly heart, you will never forget the lesson again.

• WRONG SEASON

God is a God of order. He works with times and seasons, but the devil is the master of doing things haphazardly, he just throws things in the mix chaotically. Before God does anything great in our lives like bringing our spouse, there will always be a sign. Those who are led by the spirit and can discern will not miss God’s signs. Slightly before your spouse comes in your life, you can meet a destiny helper in the form of an older mother in the Lord who will teach you essentials about biblical womanhood and what it means to be a Godly wife. The Holy Spirit will give you impressions to adjust certain things in your life. You will be pruned and aligned. When you are dealing with a counterfeit they will come out of season, out of the woodworks, so random. The counterfeit will always show up in the wrong season, when you have no business whatsoever being in a relationship.

• CONFUSION & LACK OF PEACE

God blesses and adds no sorrow with the blessing, but when the devil, gives you a “blessing”, you can lose your sanity trying to maintain it. God is not the author of confusion – 1 Corinthians 14:33, but when Satan is the author of a relationship, confusion is bountiful in that union. Things will feel too good to be true. You may believe that person is the one, but at the same time there will be a discrepancy and so many things will just not add up, even though you might not be able to denote exactly what it is. The counterfeit will break down a lot of scriptures well, but…You will have prophecies that he is your husband, but…If you believe someone is your spouse, but everything about them does not line up with the word of God and God’s nature, you are dealing with a counterfeit. The day I permanently decided to sever a situationship with a counterfeit for good, was the day I regained my peace. The connection had been devoid of peace from the genesis.

RED FLAGS NOT TO IGNORE

· CONTROLLING & MANIPULATIVE – jealous and possessive, even when you have not given them any reasons to be.

·       ABUSE – makes you feel inferior, call you names, humiliate you in front of others, not moved by your pain. 

· LYING – exaggerates, hides things, tells half-truths, pretends to be who they are not.

· EASILY ANGERED & ANGER OUTBURSTS – lash out with hurtful words, throws things, trembles with anger, beats you.

· OVER DEPENDENCY ON FAMILY – consults family on every tiny issue, if they are a man, they will not make decisions without consulting their mother or sisters, talks to them too much, will not support you if the family attacks you.

· IRRESPONSIBLE – unable to look after oneself, keep a job, manage relationships, money or time.

· DISRESPECTFUL – disrespect their parents, ignores your ideas and views, does things that affect you without consulting you.

· LUSTFUL – always wants to touch you and have sex, stares lustfully and flirts with the opposite sex, still in contact with their ex and have inappropriate conversations with them, weirdly attracts sexual interests like flies, those are demons.

· AVOIDANCE – avoid discussing their past, introducing you to their family, they hide you, reluctant to talk about their family background. They are very secretive about crucial matters.

·       UNTEACHABLE – sensitive to criticism and do not receive correction even if it is constructive and can help them grow. 

· UNFORGIVING – they hold grudges and punish you for offending them.

(This list is comprised of notes taken from a teaching by my Pastor)

THATS NOT YOUR “KINGDOM SPOUSE” SIS, THATS A DEMONIC AGENT!

The Jezebel spirit loves to destroy people’s lives through humiliation, because it results in “toxic shame” and shame is very crippling. It’s a powerful attack on our identity. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a narcissistic counterfeit, eventually saw how the demon that had been assigned against their life would vehemently, relentlessly try to humiliate them. A counterfeit will do something strikingly out of the ordinary against you, something you never anticipated from someone in your inner circle, that will cause shame. But the devil is a liar, weapons will be formed, but they will not prosper.

In counterfeit relationships you customarily have one person who idealizes and puts the other person on a pedestal, because of generational low self-esteem issues, whilst the other person looks down on the other person. “The cure to unrequited love is self-love” – unknown. Cycles of unrequited love are telling of a deeper issue, it is a ramification of childhood trauma. When you have not dealt with your trauma issues, you will keep “loving” narcissists and people who do not have the emotional intelligence to reject you gracefully. Our interaction is spiritual. Narcissists are always insecure, meaning you will both have familiar spirits of low self-esteem, that connected you together. When you address the repressed trauma, you will finally break the cord that keeps you entangled in cycles with narcissists.

After the demise of a relation with a counterfeit, you must sit down and ask yourself the right questions. What is it IN me that attracted a person of this calibre to my life? Do I have the right perception of God to believe he would send me a person who treats me callously? Do I trust God enough to believe he will give me his best or do I try to control my life? Be frank with yourself. Through counselling a couple of women, I have seen the adverse effects of marrying someone whose initial purpose was never actually marriage. Rejection can be felt too deeply in marriage. The fruits of a relationship with a counterfeit are invariably a sordid betrayal, a heart wrenching heartache and post trauma – there is a lot of destruction. A while ago, I talked to a woman who was going through serious marital mayhem in what was supposed to still be the honeymoon phase. Even their whole dating foundation substantiated that this man was a counterfeit, there were all forms of abuse, cheating and humiliation in the area they lived and with the police. I expressed to her, that unfortunately she had married a counterfeit. She probably could have throttled me if I was within reach, so in denial. It is crazy, that sometimes we are willing to make God seem like a wicked God, just so that we can uphold the idols in our hearts.

GOD BLESS YOU.