Codependency is an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who is affected with a pathological addiction condition. The people rely too much on each other emotionally, with one person caring for the other.
Codependency is formed as a result of four things : a controlling relationship, premarital sex, broken identity and gossip. A soul tie is an invisible spiritual link between two people in which demons are transferred between them. A soul tie is a spiritual phenomena that happens when your soul (your mind, will and emotions – heart) become linked to another person.
In co-dependent relationships you commonly have an imbalanced relationship, where one partner is usually dominant, controlling and abusive, whilst the other partner is passive, submissive and willing to jump any hurdles to please the other person. Controlling behaviour or emotional, guilt tripping, blackmail behaviour includes mixed signals, gaslighting, passive aggression, silent treatment, threatening suicide, hot and cold behaviour, emotional invalidation etc. In the bible we see a demonic, evil duo Jezebel (narcissistic personality disorder) and Ahab (borderline personality disorder), who both had the capacity to be controlling. Jezebel was more controlling than Ahab, but if Ahab got into situations where he could constitute ungodly control, he would control, just as he controlled Israel whilst doing Jezebel’s evil bidding. Jezebel was a Phoenician princess (Lebanon princess) who was betrothed to marry Ahab, who was the king of Israel. Where Jezebel came from, they worshipped many false pagan gods like Baal “the god of nature”, but Israel only worshipped the one and true God, Yahweh. Jezebel gets to Israel and brings her religious, polytheist ideologies and basically starts calling the shots in Ahab’s kingdom. Most people when they are monotheists, they would totally remonstrate against worshipping other Gods, but Ahab doesn’t object and not only starts worshipping Baal, but also builds and set up an altar for Baal in Samaria. Ahab also makes an asherah pole which is a carving to honour Jezebel’s, semitic goddess, “the queen of heaven”. Idol worship of Ashtoreth was held outside in the groves of trees, where huge carvings of male and female sexual organs were displayed and worshipped. Jezebel hated God, so she introduced apostasy in Israel. From this story comes the Jezebel spirit and the Ahab spirit; the two spirits notorious for all the controlling, toxic relationships of this generation. The name “Jezebel spirit” comes from the fact that Jezebel was the name of the queen who the demon controlled. It is a spirit that can influence both men and women. Ungodly soul ties are based off of fear, anger and selfish ambition, whilst Godly soul ties are based on love, respect and mutuality. When there is an ungodly soul tie, the person can be mistreated, but feel guilty for thinking about ending the relationship. They will be addicted to the pain they experience and constantly stalk their abuser, because controlling people can open doors to demonic torment through ungodly soul ties.
Witchcraft control is a concoction of manipulation plus intimidation plus seduction to ultimately dominate. When people use ungodly control, because they want you to selfishly do whatever they want, you will often end up with guilt and shame which will force you to do what you don’t necessarily want to do. However, when the Holy Spirit is present it uses conviction instead; conviction is good, guilt and shame is not. Witchcraft means the works of the flesh, that’s why the bible calls Jezebel “the mother of witchcraft”, even though we never see her casting spells or curses on people. The goal of witchcraft is to mess up the cycle of God’s divine order. Humans were given dominion over demons, but when witchcraft becomes part of the equation too, demons have dominion over humans instead. God has dominion over humans, but when witchcraft becomes part of the equation, in the form of rebellion and pride, humans try to have dominion over God instead. He who finds a wife, finds a good thing, not she. God brought Eve within close proximity in Adam’s surroundings, he woke him up, then he found Eve and pursued her. However, when a woman is demonized, the woman starts pursuing the man instead. Ahab rarely directly pursues women, because of his lackadaisical nature and insecurities, so every time he meets a woman who doesn’t have a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4), but the Jezebel spirit, she will start pursuing Ahab and they will end up in a mutually controlling relationship. Some Christian women have been indoctrinated by the customs of this world through “shooting your shot” and giving a man “signs”. However “signs” are what the bible calls seducing spirits. There is no woman in the bible who pursued a man. If you are a Christian woman who wants the will of God to be done in her life. Do not pursue a man or else you will end up with Ahab. Anytime you see control in a relationship, it means the perfect love of God is not present in those people’s hearts. Humans were never designed to control each other, because they were given equal authority over everything on earth. Which means that when humans start controlling each other, the devil is present in that interaction. It’s not them, there are demons. When people desperately go to any lengths and use every means possible to get what they want from other people, especially through lying, flattery, seduction etc. There are now operating under witchcraft, because any power over other people outside of being enabled by God and the Holy Spirit is witchcraft. If you have ever closely examined manipulative behaviours then you know how demonic that behaviour is. Narcissists will gaslight you by saying that your negative reaction to their toxic behavior is toxic, they will cry fake tears even though they are perpetrators, they will put on a nice temporary act just to get what they want etc. However once people uncover their manipulative tracks, they automatically lose their illegitimate “power” and nobody wants anything to do with them.
Ahab was an enabler of all of Jezebel’s wickedness, he didn’t just categorically endorse her wickedness, he gave her a full pass and also joined in. Men with the Ahab spirit are men who are driven by insecurities, lust and timidity, so they are easily dominated and controlled by women, especially women with the Jezebel spirit. Men who are controlled by Jezebel, are men who are not guided by biblical manhood. Apostle Paul or Joseph would have never been controlled by Jezebel. In Psychology they have their own terms for narcissistic control such as impression management, trauma bonding due to hormonal dysregulation and cognitive dissonance, which all make sense. However, as Christians we attribute control and manipulation to witchcraft. Witchcraft is normally used to cause people to see things that are not there as though there are and in contrast to also see things that are there as though there are not and ultimately to cause others to do things that they would not do according to their will if there was no control. Witchcraft is Satan placing a veil on our eyes, so that our perceptions are completely distorted. Jezebel has three agendas in our lives; to cause us to idolize her, so that she can take God’s place in our lives, to antagonise us with our family and friends and lastly to destroy us. When it comes to the Jezebel spirit and division, if you have good friends and family, Jezebel will come along and start picking them apart unnecessarily, finding fault and trying to separate you from these people. Simply put those people will be irritating Jezebel’s demons. The Jezebel spirit loves to alienate its targets from people it senses loves those people truly or have spiritual insight, because it knows they might stand in the way of the spirit accomplishing its catastrophic plans. Charm is deceitful to the charmed, but the close people to the charmed can often fully see.
There is a very common pairing of people with borderline personality disorder (Ahab spirit) highly likely dating people with narcissistic personality disorder (Jezebel spirit). People with narcissistic personality disorder often control and abuse people with borderline personality disorder. However, if you are familiar with borderline personality disorder you will know that just like narcissistic personality disorder, it is characterised by abusive behaviour. 2 Timothy 3:13 says, “but evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived”. Deceitful people are not only deceived by other people, they are also deceived by Satan, because he makes them the orchestrator of their own demise in life (Proverbs 5:22). People with the Ahab spirit can only tolerate people with unclean spirits like them, especially the Jezebel spirit. If you don’t operate under the Jezebel spirit, they will abuse you and control you. The Jezebel spirit comes to destroy both the people it closely encounters and the person it inhabits, it is not loyal to anyone: nobody is exempt. This Jezebel, Ahab dynamic with Jezebel being the narcissist and Ahab being a narcissistic co-dependent, is a dynamic of two impure people drawing to each other strongly, that is why they are very irresistible to each other. The narcissistic prideful spirits familiarize with each other, which means if you are a person with a clean spirit and discernment, Jezebel or Ahab cannot be able to control you, the spirits will be at odds and will not be able to “vibe”. Unclean spirits are only attracted to unclean spirits. Be it in friendships or relationships. If you look at your friends or the people that you “vibe” with, it’s not a coincidence and you just don’t get along. You vibe, because you are both healed or unhealed, you have the same Holy Spirit or the same unclean spirits. Anytime I try to interact with people with opposing spirits to me, we repel each other. When you haven’t gone through deliverance. You will fulfil the will of demons, instead of your own will or God’s will. Demons cause you to not have standards or an option.
The narcissist, co-dependent dance is not about chemistry or attraction, but merely demonic spirits connecting in the spiritual realm. Just as the Holy Spirit brings people together for divine purposes, evil spirits can also connect people to fulfil their own agendas. When the devil knows we have baggage, he will also bring us people with baggage so that he can sit down and enjoy the show. The Jezebel spirit is only successful in executing it’s plans, when it is linked with a spirit of Ahab which it can abuse and use to destroy through that person’s callousness, unassertiveness, weakness and lack of boundaries and responsibility. Jezebel and Ahab are complimentary spirits that work in tandem. Jezebel’s seduction, feeds Ahab’s lust. Jezebel’s false pride, feeds Ahab’s insecurities and lastly Jezebel’s control feeds Ahab’s timidity. Without the spirit of Ahab, Jezebel cannot prosper or reign over a region. The Jezebel spirit not only controls you whilst it is in contact with you, it will also try to control you from afar even after the relationship is long over. The Jezebel spirit seeks to make followers and eunuchs. Until you wake up and starve the Jezebel spirit, the spirit will always have control over you, disabling you from moving on and creating toxic love addiction and co-dependency. Sons of narcissistic mothers cleave to their mothers all their lives, because the Jezebel spirit always forms ungodly soul ties with whoever is or gets close to it. Narcissistic mothers teach their sons to be controlling bullies, that’s why they always end up with borderline personality disorder. There are so many different types of witchcraft, however control that is passed down in families is called inherited witchcraft.